When Worry Rules Your ParentingJan 05, 2021
Sometimes my job gives me some really cool peeks into mommy minds. We are all so different, but I also see a lot of commonalities. In 3 sessions last week, each mom’s situation was so different, but they were all feeling the same thing - worry!
Mom #1 was freaked about her teen's first sexual encounter. "She's too young! She'll get hurt! She doesn't know what she's getting herself into! She doesn't know what she wants!"
Mom #2 was stressed about her 11 year old's grades. "He's too smart for this! What if he can't get a job or into college? He would be getting straight A's if he just tried."
Mom #3 had a toddler in trouble for hitting at school. "What if no one invites him to playdates after this? He has no impulse control! He's out of control at home too! What if he never grows out of this?"
In parenting, it's natural to worry. We're wired to fear for our kids and their safety, and kids' choices trigger our worries. But, fear traps us in FIGHT or FLIGHT. Which one of those are good parenting strategies? Um...they're both pretty terrible.
Fight or flight parenting looks like:
- Anger and hopelessness
- Resorting to strategies that won’t work because we don't know what else to do
- Feeling guilty and responsible for our kids' suffering or mistakes
- Behavior that doesn't improve and often gets worse
- Knee-jerk reactions to kids' behavior
While the risks are real and there are no guarantees, parenting from the belief that disaster is just around the corner only hurts us and our kids. Getting ourselves out of fear is the ONLY way to stop this fight or flight parenting.
Imagine knowing it was going to be OK, nothing bad would happen to your child, and your relationship with them would stay healthy and strong. How would you parent if you KNEW you were nailing it, and believed in yourself and your child?
I am leading a FREE workshop NEXT WEEK that will lift you out of fight or flight parenting.
We’ll be focusing on 2 big things:
- Parenting techniques that WORK to improve behavior
- Tools to feel calm and FEARLESS in your parenting
Join us and learn how to opt out of fight or flight parenting: