When Kids Lie - the biggest mistake we make!Jul 23, 2021
Last year, my teenager started lying... a lot. We always had an open, honest relationship before, so these lies were devastating and confusing. I felt like I was losing him and had done something to cause it.
Each time I discovered a lie, I would sit down to talk with him - Why did he lie? Couldn’t he see that he was losing trust and hurting people? Our conversations were long, tearful, angry, apologetic, and totally USELESS. Actually, they were worse than useless; those talks, not his lying, were the REAL reason I was losing my son.
The more I felt him slip away, the more I searched for a response that would both fix the problem AND preserve my connection with him. But fixing and connecting are two different things and we achieve them in two different ways.
True discipline needs to be action, not words. And genuine connection is only possible when our communication has no agenda. By trying to discipline my son through my words, I was undermining my relationship with him and perpetuating his misbehavior!
Imagine a free-flowing dialogue with your child, where you're not trying to persuade them, change them or prevent anything - you're simply communicating because you love them and want to be with them. You know what to say (and what NOT to say) and you’re not freaking out. You’re truly present.
When we discipline through action, not words, it takes care of misbehavior and frees up conversations for deep connection. By separating discipline from communication, and by learning HOW to communicate with our kids, we make this kind of closeness possible.
On August 10th, I am leading a workshop all about making this happen. We’ll talk about how to make the distinction between communication and discipline. And I’ll teach you what to say and how to communicate with your kiddo.
This workshop will teach you exactly how to communicate with your child without losing their attention or your mind! We’ll be covering lying, disrespect, arguments, and big emotions. The tools we’ll cover apply to all the hard talk for all ages of kids. The cost for this workshop is $19 (free for existing clients). Bring me all your questions and get ready to completely transform your relationship and connection with your kiddo! Register now!
Can’t wait to see you soon!